Administrative Assistants' Day

            I am taking a break from examining ways to lose a custody case in order to discuss Administrative Assistants' Day, which is tomorrow, April 23, 2014. I recall this special day used to be called "Secretaries' Day," but that term has become enveloped in a certain political incorrectness for its failure to recognize the scope of the duties undertaken by those to be honored tomorrow.

            I really never have had a true "secretary" – primarily because I haven't needed the traditional services rendered by one so described. Even though I entered the practice long before computers, I was somewhat of an aberration as a lawyer. I never dictated anything; I did my own typing for the most part.

             I learned to type during the summer between my 9^th and 10^th grade years when my father insisted I take a summer school class entitled "Personal Typing for Boys."

            Along with all the papers I brought home at the end of the 1958-59 school year was a flyer about the typing class, which would be limited to boys and taught every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday morning at 9:00 for six weeks. Although I was far from enthusiastic about this "opportunity," I couldn't overcome my father's argument that there were three reasons I should take the course.

"First of all," he said, "you intend to go to college and your grades will be better if you type your papers. Second, if you go into a business or profession and your secretary (there's that word) is off, you may need to type your own work. But most important, if you ever get drafted and the army finds out you can type, you will be in an office far from any battles." Who could argue with that?

            I have had a number of true assistants in my work life. When I was Editor-in-Chief of the Ohio State Law Journal, I gained so much from the wonderful woman who served as the keeper of the collective memory of "how it was done." At Capital Law School, it was scheduling student appointments and setting up meetings that required help. At the Courthouse, Sarah and Harriet kept me on task and ran my courtroom. When I first returned to practice, my wife Donna (who is a Certified Legal Assistant) was instrumental in getting the practice up and running.

            But the best, ever, is our current legal assistant, Liz Wood. As we point out to her, she runs this place. If she ever leaves, my retirement will promptly follow. Liz is very smart. She anticipates what needs to be done and does it – flawlessly. She is the only paralegal in an office with three lawyers, and she is always one step ahead. She makes sure I know what tasks must be done and pesters me if I get behind. She is masterful in the way she deals with clients. Her sense of humor is amazing. And she can be just mean enough!

            So, Liz, happy Administrative Assistants' Day. We are sure glad to have you!

Ten Ways to Lose Your Custody Case – Part 2

            It never fails to amaze me when a litigant in a custody dispute clearly identifies all the significant players in the case, the people with the power to influence and make the decisions that will determine the outcome of the dispute, and then proceeds to alienate each and every one of those people.

            Here are two techniques that are employed, generally ending in disaster.

3.         Make an enemy of the Guardian ad Litem

            In most custody cases, the court will appoint a lawyer (or, sometimes, a social worker) to act as the Guardian ad Litem. The GAL's job is to represent the best interests of the children involved in the dispute. Meetings with the parents and the children, home visits, inquiring of persons who have relevant information (teachers, medical providers, counselors, etc.), and generally doing what is necessary to provide the relevant materials to the court, are tasks assigned to the GAL.

            Unfortunately, some litigants believe that the GAL in their case should become a cheerleader for that parent's position, or, at least, should clearly see the evil inherent in the other side. When that doesn't happen, when the GAL takes an appropriately neutral approach, the reaction of the parent can become destructive. Arguments and insults hurled at a GAL are not likely to favorably influence the opinion of this very significant person. Facebook posts about how incompetently the GAL is doing the job don't help much either.

            I once served as Guardian ad Litem in a bitterly contested custody case involving a prominent Columbus family. The mother of the three girls involved determined early on that I was not totally committed to seeing that her goals concerning the proper outcome were accomplished. She undertook a vicious campaign to demonstrate that I was prejudiced against her, that I did not care about her daughters, by sending letters to several people that knew me, as well as to every news outlet in the city. Not really the best strategy available to her.

            Fortunately, my opinion that she was not the proper parent to care for the children was bolstered by the psychologists involved in the case and by the overwhelming evidence of her erratic and vicious behavior.

4.         Defy court orders

            Although a Guardian ad Litem can be very influential in the outcome of a custody case, obviously the judge and magistrate assigned to the case are much more so. After all, the ultimate goal of any litigation is to convince the judge that your position is the one which should prevail. To put it bluntly, you want the judge on your side.

            It therefore never failed to amaze me when custody litigants openly and repeatedly defied my orders in their case. Some went so far as to state in open court that they were not going to do as I ordered, because, as one memorable father told me, "You don't have a f****** clue what you are doing!" Even if I didn't have a clue, he probably would have been better off to keep his opinion to himself. At least he wouldn't have spent three days in jail for direct contempt!

            On another occasion, a custodial dad who had repeatedly refused to permit their son's mother to have her ordered parenting time, appeared before me on a contempt charge. I told him that if his son did not get to spend the ordered time with his mother during the coming weekend, I would have to find the father in contempt and punish him. He said, "Go ahead and put me in jail. I don't care. You can't make me do anything." I accepted his invitation and sent him off to the custody of the county sheriff.

            A half hour later, his lawyer came to see me. He told me that his client was crying hysterically and desperately wanted out of jail. Mom got her visitation and, eventually, was awarded sole custody of the child.