It never fails to amaze me when a
litigant in a custody dispute clearly identifies all the significant players in
the case, the people with the power to influence and make the decisions that
will determine the outcome of the dispute, and then proceeds to alienate each
and every one of those people.
Here are two techniques that are
employed, generally ending in disaster.
3. Make an enemy of the Guardian ad Litem
In most custody cases, the court
will appoint a lawyer (or, sometimes, a social worker) to act as the Guardian
ad Litem. The GAL's job is to represent the best interests of the children
involved in the dispute. Meetings with the parents and the children, home
visits, inquiring of persons who have relevant information (teachers, medical
providers, counselors, etc.), and generally doing what is necessary to provide
the relevant materials to the court, are tasks assigned to the GAL.
Unfortunately, some litigants
believe that the GAL in their case should become a cheerleader for that
parent's position, or, at least, should clearly see the evil inherent in the
other side. When that doesn't happen, when the GAL takes an appropriately
neutral approach, the reaction of the parent can become destructive. Arguments
and insults hurled at a GAL are not likely to favorably influence the opinion
of this very significant person. Facebook posts about how incompetently the GAL
is doing the job don't help much either.
I once served as Guardian ad Litem
in a bitterly contested custody case involving a prominent Columbus family. The
mother of the three girls involved determined early on that I was not totally
committed to seeing that her goals concerning the proper outcome were
accomplished. She undertook a vicious campaign to demonstrate that I was
prejudiced against her, that I did not care about her daughters, by sending
letters to several people that knew me, as well as to every news outlet in the
city. Not really the best strategy available to her.
Fortunately, my opinion that she was
not the proper parent to care for the children was bolstered by the
psychologists involved in the case and by the overwhelming evidence of her
erratic and vicious behavior.
4. Defy court orders
Although a Guardian ad Litem can be very
influential in the outcome of a custody case, obviously the judge and
magistrate assigned to the case are much more so. After all, the ultimate goal
of any litigation is to convince the judge that your position is the one which
should prevail. To put it bluntly, you want the judge on your side.
It therefore never failed to amaze
me when custody litigants openly and repeatedly defied my orders in their case.
Some went so far as to state in open court that they were not going to do as I
ordered, because, as one memorable father told me, "You don't have a
f****** clue what you are doing!" Even if I didn't have a clue, he
probably would have been better off to keep his opinion to himself. At least he wouldn't have spent three days in jail for direct contempt!
On another occasion, a custodial dad
who had repeatedly refused to permit their son's mother to have her ordered
parenting time, appeared before me on a contempt charge. I told him that if his
son did not get to spend the ordered time with his mother during the coming
weekend, I would have to find the father in contempt and punish him. He said,
"Go ahead and put me in jail. I don't care. You can't make me do
anything." I accepted his invitation and sent him off to the custody of
the county sheriff.
A half hour later, his lawyer came
to see me. He told me that his client was crying hysterically and desperately
wanted out of jail. Mom got her visitation and, eventually, was awarded sole
custody of the child.
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